i had sex..now i regret it

Dear Jenna

I had sex and now I regret it?

I am 14, and I know thats too young but I felt ready and I was convinced that he was the 'one'. Theres a catch though, the guy is 19... But you can't judge me straight away, he knew I was a virgin so we took it slow... But now I wish I just would of waited and not let my 'hornyness' take over me. And, my parents had no idea I was ina motel with a 19 year old, they thought I was at a friends house.

-regretful teen

 

Dear regretful teen,

WHAT? 14!!!!! That 19 year old took advantage of you i'm thinking. If you aren't feeling it, then you weren't feeling it when this whole idea took place either. I am not judging you at all, i'm judging the 19 year old that decided to push you into this. Lying to your parent's is never good either. You shouldn't lie to them about anything... but especially your location. What if something happened to you and you didn't know where you were and your parents didn't think anything of it because they though you were at your friends house? For future reference.. don't lie to them anymore. What happened, happened.. don't think to much about it. You are upset because you were not ready to have sex.. and this 19 yeard old took advantage and led you on into having it and popped your V-Card... so now you are going to feel emotionally attached to him because he was your first.

It's very normal to regret sex for the first time because you want it to be special.. the fact that you are only 14 makes it a lot worse. You will get through this though.. and in the future don't do stuff you aren't feeling and that you are going to regret.

stay strong,

-Jenna 

18, pregnant, and cheated on my boyfriend.

I'm with my boyfriend 2 years now, and I cheated on him.
I went for holidays with my female friends and I met a Spanish guy.
My boyfriend after 2 years became boring, he doesn't say " I love you" anymore, doesn't show affection, and is cold.
So when I had sex with this spanish guy I didn't regret it, because he made me feel happy , and I always had orgasm he knew how to do it, while when I have sex with my boyfriend I don't feel so good. I also could have sex everyday while my boyfriend wants it only on weekends. Now i am pregnant with the spanish guys baby and not with my boyfriends...
I know you would say now I'm bad, but it was also my boyfriend's fault that I cheated .
The problem is I don't know what to do now,
1. break up with him and tell him that I cheated,?
2. or break up with him and don't tell him it?

-gahhh

 

 

Dear gahhh,

I can't believe what i just read. Cheating on your boyfriend because "he doesn't say i love you anymore and does not show affection." Maybe your boyfriend should be the one asking me for advice because that poor kid did nothing. If you were that unhappy you should have talked to your boyfriend and told him those things were bothering you. 2 years with him and just because he doesn't say he loves you anymore you cheat? There is no reason to cheat on anyone.. just end the relationship if it's that bad. Why didn't you just talk to your boyfriend about what was bothering you? I am one to say the truth and not hold back, so I'm going to point out that the fact that you are pregnant with the guy you cheated on your boyfriend with's baby is KARMA. I mean, is that Spanish guy even going to be there for you? You have a lot to think about... and as far as asking me if you should break up with your boyfriend and tell him if you cheated or not...Honey, i think that choice is yours. I think he deserves to know the truth, and maybe he will stay with you because he does love you... or maybe not. I really don't know. I would apologize from deep down in your heart to him.. and if you decide to keep the baby and not tell your boyfriend you cheated..well he's going to find out eventually.. so i think your best bet is telling your boyfriend everything and telling him that you did it because he doesn't show affection and say that he loves you anymore.

I hope this helps you make the right choice.

-Jenna

how do i get my husband to not be so nasty this christmas?

Been married for 5 years no kids....husband has always had a short fuse and can get quickly upset. It seems he gets upset at me for anything...how I drive, what groceries I buy, he tells me he needs someone else that is not so stupid. He tells me I'm a real c**t almost every day. If I try to assert myself or say, talk to me later when you can be decent...he then throws it into high gear and throws a hissy fit. He truly believes everything is all my fault. He thinks he is more fun than me. He said to me that I have nothing to bring to the table in this marriage.

We are on Xmas break from work now and have the entire week off. We usually work opposite shifts. He likes to sit around and watch tv, movies and music. I like to stay more active. Earlier today I told him I might meet some friends for an exercise class tomorrow. He started yelling at me at how I was being selfish, that he can't spend any time with me, that I'm always running off, and that we may as well spend the holidays apart. He also keeps threatening that after Xmas he is leaving me and finding his own apartment. He said "I can't wait till I'm divorced from you." He can fly off the handle a lot. He is often in trouble at work, has had to take anger management classes at work before. I have seen him scream and yell at his dad and even push and shove his dad. His dad did nothing to deserve that. He has minimal contact with any other family. I feel like I am being prevented from doing anything as an individual. If I even suggest it he is screaming at me. I really don't want him to leave. He can also be the nicest guy around. It seems there is a dark cloud over him right now. Should I just go along with this and be nice? He told me that this holiday he wants me to do things that HE wants to do. That he is tired of always going along with me. I don't think I monopolize his time as he says. I am known as smart, educated, talented, kind, laid back, good looking, put together...I don't have any enemies in life. I have good relationships. Except with my husband. The one I really wish was better. How do I cope with this? Please help!

~married to the Grinch

 

Dear married to the Grinch,

first i would just like to point out that "married to the Grinch" made me laugh out loud, anyway, it truly does sound like you are married to the Grinch. If your husband has anger issues don't take anything he says seriously because he is just saying it to scare you and because he is angry with whatever got him upset. Don't do things that will set him off and kill him with kindness. The nicer you are the easier it will be. I'm not saying don't do what you wanna do because he will get "annoyed" but make time for him. Maybe all he needs is you to be there spending quality time with him once in a while. You must truly love each other because you both have not left each other yet. I think you should sit your husband down for dinner one night just the two of you and just talk. Let everything out, and make it a habit. Once or twice a week have a date night. Whether you are going out or staying in watching a movie and eating dinner, just talk to each other, let your stress out by talking out any problems you both have, and then relax. I think this is the best advice i can give you for this situation. A lot of the time it's just lack of something in a relationship that could cause the significant other to "fly of the handle." It could be lack of communication, sex, quality time, listening.. ect. Work things out by taking the first approach of talking and setting up date nights. It will make both of you very happy. Good luck,

-Jenna

My low self esteem is ruining my relationship

Dear Jenna, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and everything has been going great. We have a lot of fun together and we can talk about stuff that other people wouldn't understand, but lately we've been arguing a lot due to my low self esteem. I am an overcoming anorexic and I also suffer from depression. I am constantly comparing myself to other girls and I feel like I will never be as pretty as they are; my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, but I don't believe him. I refuse eat in front of him, I won't go out with him if I feel ugly, and I get extremely anxious about sex because I don't want him to see my disgusting body. I can see that he is fed up with my behavior, but I can't help that I feel this way. Is there anything I can do to save my relationship?

-not a beauty queen

 

 

Dear not a beauty queen,

If your boyfriend has dealt with this for a year, he really loves you. The arguing could just be that you are not changing. I know it's hard when you literately have a self esteem issue.. but have you went to a doctor to talk about it? I would seek a physiologist, maybe your self esteem issues start from something that has happened in the past.. maybe you can attack it and stop feeling this way. Depression on the other hand can be solved my depression medication. I would talk to your doctor about that too. I am not telling you this so you can save your relationship.. I'm telling you this so you can save yourself. You don't wanna live the rest of your life feeling this way, and your boyfriend is probably acting this way so you get the help you need as well. Just talk to a physiologist once or twice a week and get everything from your past to present out. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and you should not feel like you are not. Believe it or not we are all self conscious.. i know i am.. but to feel like that all the time is just a hassle. You just have to act like you don't care what people think about you. I know it's very hard to do... sometimes it's hard for me too. I feel ugly a lot, and i feel self conscious a lot too, but we can't let it affect our everyday lives. If someone says "you are beautiful" don't reply with "no I'm not" just say, "thanks." It's a start, and see the doctor and talk about options for you. I hope this helps, good luck and stay strong.

-Jenna

Trouble with my mom's boyfriend!

Dear Jenna,

I hate my moms boyfriend sooo much and one of the things he just did was this: i made up an element song for science and am singing it front of the class today so i said mom can i sing this for you so i started and he kept on talking and saying aww look at the cat really loud she just ignored me ): he makes me super upset and some things he does to me is really crule): im so depressed and i try talking to her but she just says screw you she very rarely sticks up for me when he is mean what should i do? I just want my mom back.

-Steph

 

 

Dear Steph,

Try talking to a family member, or close friend of the family. Tell them the way he treats you and how he makes you feel. Tell them when you try and talk to your mom she doesn't listen. Your mom could just be blinded by love for him. I think he is being a jerk if he is doing that to you, maybe he is jealous because he wants all of your mom's attention. Sounds like a big baby to me. Definitely talk to a family member or something. No one should be making you feel depressed and taking away your mom's attention from you. You could even talk to your mom's boyfriend and see why he does that, maybe try and start off better with him. Maybe you guys started off wrong. Try and get along and maybe things will change. If not, then continue with the first plan of speaking to a relative.

Good luck, and stay strong.

-Jenna

 

 

I need serious advice!

Dear Jenna,

I've liked a girl for THREE YEARS, and can't stop thinking about her. She liked me 4/5 months ago, but I was still too nervous to talk to her. She stopped liking me a week later. I have her number and I text her and talk to her but not often. She talks to other guys as much (or a little more) than she talks to me now? Should I give up? Should I be a little more flirty? Should I text her more?
-MAX

 

Dear MAX,

You may just be thinking to much into the situation. Usually if a girl likes you, and you have kept in contact depending on the way the conversations are going, she will still like you. In all honesty, it depends how long you have been talking too. If you have liked her for 3 years now, and if you knew she liked you 4-5 months ago...then why didn't you ask her out then? I would continue to text her, and see how the conversation goes, don't act too clingy though because that tends to scare people off sometimes. Ask her to hang out sometime, and see if you guys like each other. Don't be upset if she doesn't feel the same way back anymore though, it's been 3 years that you have had a crush on her...there are so many other girls out there, so if you aren't getting anywhere with your crush, and your still in the same place after a week, i would start talking to other girls..and who knows..maybe your crush will get jealous and develope feelings for you again and come to you instead of u having to go to her.

Goodluck,

Jenna

Husband is on a dating site! HELP!

Dear jenna, I got married Oct. 2010. I'm 6 months pregnant. I LOVE my husband and he is so good with my daughter that I had previously and such a great provider and family man. However I just found out he joined a dating site 3 months ago. And he still emails with his ex girlfriend. But she lives out of state. I am really worried about this. My husband should not be on a dating website when he is married and has a pregnant wife. Please help!
~Sam the worried-wife

Dear Sam the worried-wife,

If you love your husband, show it. I'm not saying that you don't show it, but talk to him, something more could be bothering him. Husbands need attention just as much as the wife- sometimes more though because guys are sensitive and when it comes to affection they want it much more. You'd be surprised. Congratulations on being pregnant. Due to the fact that you are 6 months pregnant, i'm guessing there is a lot of mood swings from hormones and you are tired all the time. It's completely normal and understandable. If this is your husbands first child, then he may not be used to all of this. Just make time for him every night, talk about your day, watch a movie..do something with each other once a night so you have alone time. Bring up to him that you noticed that he has a dating account and that he still talks to his ex- tell him that bothers you deeply. He will understand. It's not normal for a married man to have a dating website, maybe he is just interested in having new friends to talk to...which is why i suggested having alone time once a night. Share stories and listen to each other. As far as him talking to his ex goes, no one is a fan of that, but a lot of relationships end and they stay friends. If he's talking to her everyday, it's not cool, but that all may stop once you both start communicating and you have confronted him on the situation and let him know its bothering you.

-Jenna