My low self esteem is ruining my relationship

Dear Jenna, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and everything has been going great. We have a lot of fun together and we can talk about stuff that other people wouldn't understand, but lately we've been arguing a lot due to my low self esteem. I am an overcoming anorexic and I also suffer from depression. I am constantly comparing myself to other girls and I feel like I will never be as pretty as they are; my boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, but I don't believe him. I refuse eat in front of him, I won't go out with him if I feel ugly, and I get extremely anxious about sex because I don't want him to see my disgusting body. I can see that he is fed up with my behavior, but I can't help that I feel this way. Is there anything I can do to save my relationship?

-not a beauty queen

 

 

Dear not a beauty queen,

If your boyfriend has dealt with this for a year, he really loves you. The arguing could just be that you are not changing. I know it's hard when you literately have a self esteem issue.. but have you went to a doctor to talk about it? I would seek a physiologist, maybe your self esteem issues start from something that has happened in the past.. maybe you can attack it and stop feeling this way. Depression on the other hand can be solved my depression medication. I would talk to your doctor about that too. I am not telling you this so you can save your relationship.. I'm telling you this so you can save yourself. You don't wanna live the rest of your life feeling this way, and your boyfriend is probably acting this way so you get the help you need as well. Just talk to a physiologist once or twice a week and get everything from your past to present out. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and you should not feel like you are not. Believe it or not we are all self conscious.. i know i am.. but to feel like that all the time is just a hassle. You just have to act like you don't care what people think about you. I know it's very hard to do... sometimes it's hard for me too. I feel ugly a lot, and i feel self conscious a lot too, but we can't let it affect our everyday lives. If someone says "you are beautiful" don't reply with "no I'm not" just say, "thanks." It's a start, and see the doctor and talk about options for you. I hope this helps, good luck and stay strong.

-Jenna